9 Months & Memories from Childhood

Today our Little Peanut turns 9 months old. I can't believe how time flies! Is he crawling? Is he eating solid foods? What words does he say (or attempt to say)? We really don't have much more information about when we expect to travel. I'm hoping that March brings lots of EPs (exit permits) and TCs (travel calls) for those families that have been waiting. The last time I spoke with our agency, we have 15 families ahead of us before we get our EP, which is what the Embassy in Korea issues saying that Wesley is approved to leave the country. Then, there is more paperwork generated on their part (Visa, etc.) and then the TC comes and we go! We would love to be able to get him before his first birthday at the end of May, but no one can predict what may or may not happen at this point.

In the meantime, I received an amazing gift from a childhood friend in the mail earlier this week. We reconnected at my 20 year high school reunion last September. She was pregnant with her first child, so we had a lot to talk about with Brian and I having our first child with Wesley. Anyway, it was Tuesday I believe and I had "one of those days" at work, then headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things. It was pouring rain outside, so I got soaked on the way in and the way out. I came home in a foul mood and looked like a drowned rat. And there it was - a package addressed to me. I quickly opened it up and immediately a smile came across my face. The familiar book almost brought tears to my eyes and all of the frustration and anger I had from the day melted away. I said out loud to my husband, "I LOVE THIS BOOK!" It was one of my all time favorites from my childhood, "Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein. It meant a lot to me that this friend thought of us (and Wesley) to send this book for us to enjoy.

Here's one of my favorite poems from the book -

HUG O' WAR
I will not play at tug o'war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

This Always Makes Me Smile

I'm missing my Little Peanut today and decided to take a gander at this (it's actually been awhile). I know that he's grown so much since this video was taken (mid November) but it still makes me happy and puts a big smile on my face. For those that haven't yet seen it - enjoy.

Registering and Showers and Zits? Oh My. . .

If any of you have seen me any time between now and say New Year's Eve, you may have noticed that I've had a few "additions" to my face. I'm 38 years old I thought that I was done getting zits. I mean I get the occasional pimple here and there, but this is different. This is full-blown teenage breakout. At first I thought that it was from the sweets that I allowed myself to indulge in during the holidays (my mom always bakes a ton). Well, then the holidays came & went, it's now heading toward the end of February and there's no sign of letting up. I'm finally giving in to the fact that it must be stress. The stress that I feel (good and bad) is projecting itself (literally) onto my face. It's pretty comical (not really).

To try and get my mind off of my mess of a face and the waiting (and waiting) game for Wesley, Brian and I decided to register this weekend. A group of our close friends are throwing us a shower in mid March. And a group of lovely women that my mom has been friends with for years is throwing a joint shower (also March) for myself and my brother's fiance (who is due April 28). Needless to say, Brian and I needed to get crackin' on a registry.

Friday night after work we went to Babies "R" Us. We were met at the Customer Service counter by a gal that couldn't have been older than 18. She had long, fake nails painted purple with this gold, glittery design on them - very classy. When I told her that we were there to register she immediately put me at ease (I'm being sarcastic) by glaring at my stomach, which she proceeded to do 3 more times during the rundown until I found a way to work into the conversation that we were adopting. She continued to go through her "routine" about registering and telling us where everything was located in the store. Then, THE question of the night came. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Will you be breast feeding?" Part of me wanted to just mess with her and say, "Yup." But instead I just looked at her with a perplexed look and before I could say anything she realized what she had said and corrected herself. It didn't stop her from including breast feeding guides, etc. in our gift pack when we left. Brian and I had a good sense of humor about it all and just laughed it off. Besides the registering itself being a little overwhelming, her comments made for a memorable evening.

Saturday we were back at it at another store, but this time we had our good friend Alison to guide/organize us. She is the mother of a beautiful 9 month old (and our goddaughter) so she's got recent experience in this department! She was a huge help and kept us on track as well as recommended some items we hadn't even thought of. Thanks again Alison!

A Ray of Sunshine

This morning my mom, Brian and I went to check out our first day care option. Unfortunately, it is a reality that we both will have to continue to work once Wesley is finally home with us. We will get some "leave" from either our jobs or the state, but after that he is going to have to go to day care for at least 3-4 days a week (Mom has generously offered to watch Wesley one day a week).

The day care was having what they called "Pre-school Prom" which was hilarious. The older kids got to dress up in formal attire and have parties to celebrate Valentine's Day. Very cute. We first met with one of the gals that works closely with the Director and she gave us the rundown of both the infant and toddler rooms. Then, we got the tour. My first instinct was to run over and pick up one of the cute little boys and hug him to pieces. But, I just smiled and waved and said, "Well, hello there."

We were very pleased with all that this particular day care had to offer and although we are still a little uneasy with the whole idea of having to bring him somewhere, this place seems like it would suit him. I've had a few friends that have had their kids go there and they have great things to say. Plus, Mom was impressed which is always a good sign :)

So, we get home (I work from home on Fridays) and I immediately check my email. I'm embarassed to admit it, but it's become an obsession of sorts these days. Many of my fellow adoptive moms/bloggers will understand. When you're waiting for any "news" or photos or ANYTHING, you stalk your email. You stalk other people's blogs to see if they've received anything. You stalk adoption bulletin boards to see what's going on with those people. It's a sickness really. . . Anyway, today I go to the email and there it is. . . an email from our agency contact Marcie. The header just says "Surprise!!!" I don't even know what that means and I start screaming to my mom and my husband to come into the kitchen. "Come here, come here!!!"


I open up the email and I'm shaking, there's an attachment. The email inside says, "We just received pictures of your son! He is getting sooooo big! Have a wonderful weekend."

Finally!!! We get an updated photo of Wesley. We (Mom, Brian and myself) all let out a collective, "Ohhhh!" And, then the "Oh my gosh, he's gotten so BIG!" comments start coming. I'm thrilled that he looks so happy. Foster Mom, Mrs. Park put him in one of the outfits we had sent in our first care package, which I thought was very thoughtful. I can't stop smiling. Brian can't stop smiling. Mom looks very happy too. It's going to be a great weekend. :)

Tough Week

After having what I would consider an "eventful" and exciting week last week, this one brought quite a different batch of emotions. Some I suppose I wasn't quite prepared for. I wasn't going to blog about it but earlier this week, I visited another adoptive mom's blog and she was experiencing similar feelings and it brought me comfort to know that I wasn't alone. So, here goes nothing!

I think the best word to describe this week is "funk." I was in a deep "funk." I wouldn't say that I was negative. I was however, in a haze. I was at times sad. I was even angry. I just wanted Wesley to be home. I knew that there were families who had been waiting longer than us that needed to go first (and rightfully so), but that didn't take away the feelings I had of missing him. He's going to be our first, our baby and after so many years it's so close. I'm just finding it hard to be patient.

I also wondered why our foster mom hadn't sent us updated photos of Wesley. It seemed as though the majority of the other families from our agency (the ones I know of at least) had received some by now. I was extremely happy for those other families, and LOVED seeing their updated photos. I just couldn't help thinking to myself, "It's been over 2 months, what must he look like now? How big is he? How much has he changed?"

Then, yesterday I came home from work (still in the FUNK) and there was a package on the kitchen island. It was from my mother-in-law. Brian and I opened it together. It was an adorable turtle pillow that she had picked up while in Florida for the winter. She had told me about awhile ago and I had completely forgotten. What a treat! It is so soft and so cute. Wesley is going to absolutely love it!

And then, today we received a card from Brian's Grandmother (Gram) who is the last living grandparent on either side of our families. We waited until Christmas to share the good news about Wesley with her. She was sending us her well wishes as well as some information about the name Wesley that we were not aware of. Apparently Wesley has some history on the Fuller side of the family. Gram's grandfather's name was Charles Wesley and then she had three cousins named Wesley. Who knew??? This was very exciting news to both Brian and myself as we didn't have any idea of the family history. We had chosen his name for an entirely different reason (another blog will explain).

So moving forward, I'm going to try and find strength in the positive things that have come this week. The support we have received from Nanny (Brian's Mom) and Gram meant more than they will ever know. I find comfort in knowing that Wesley is in good hands and that we will have him home soon. Until then, all I can do is keep saying my prayers each night. . .