Wesley turned 10 months old yesterday. The family was over at our place to celebrate Brian's birthday (which was on the 25th) so it was a happy day. Saturday was a different story. I don't know if some of the other adoption moms that are waiting are experiencing this but I'm really emotional lately. Like hormonal emotional. Like crazy hormonal emotional! So, I'm driving to my Saturday morning guitar lesson and for no reason I start to tear up. No, no, NO! I try to stop myself, but the tears start coming. Oh my gosh, what is going on? I can't go in and see my guitar teacher and have a melt down! Luckily, he was running late and I was able to get myself together and have a good practice.
So, then I decided I need a distraction after that. Ummmm, SHOPPING! Now with the delay, I had a few outfits that I needed to exchange, so I decided to head out to the mall. I picked up bigger sizes and picked up a few more things. Little boys clothes are so cute now. They literally look like mini Brian clothes! The only frustrating thing is that I wasn't sure about the size versus season of clothes depending on when he'll actually come home. But, I figured I'd be fine. I quickly got in a good mood and couldn't wait to bring home the treasures I had found to show Brian. I'm sending a care package out tomorrow or Wednesday and now we're trying to figure out what to send in the ever-important 1st Birthday care package at the end of May. That's going to be a tough one - I can't believe he won't be here. I'm anticipating some SERIOUS retail therapy for that one. . .
Michelle...you are not alone in your hysterics, hormones, tears, screams, emotions, etc. I think about how naive I was when we started the process in 2008 and how I was sure we'd have our little girl home by fall last year...ha ha. What was I thinking? That's just it, with this process there is no thinking or knowing...just lots of patience, distractions, retail therapy, love and support from your family/friends, and faith. Our little girl will turn 1 on April 29th and I have been praying we'd have her home by then...but I know again I'm being naive. My real target is the 4th of July :-) or maybe I should say Halloween! I hope you too won't miss your little one's 1st b-day! I'm continuing to keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI agree with SNC, I think we all had hopes and dreams of when our children would be home. I NEVER thought it would be this long and this tough. I am absolutely dying inside to think of celebrating her first birthday without her. I never would have tought . . .
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping that the back-up is at least clearing a bit. More and more families are getting TC and that has to make a dent in the EP mountain.
I finally went crazy with the whole retail therapy thing and it does help. Like you, I have NO idea how big she is and what clothes she will be in when she gets home. I have a few 12 months, more 18 months and ALOT of 24 months. I'm hoping I will have to buy more 12 months when she's home. :)
Hang in there. I totally know how you feel.